The Story

Chapter 1

Crime crumpet was patrolling down the dark, dusty streets when he saw, down one musty alley a banana, Joe (who was a friend of his) was being interrogated by a bunch of potato thugs. Most of them were mashed, but one of them was wrapped in a jacket and was wearing a jet-black, woolly balaclava, the nefarious JACKET POTATO!!! In fact, they were all wearing balaclavas but the jacket potato, had been arrested 4 times now and had escaped so many times that the police had given up on him or her, nobody really knows. But crime crumpet hadn't. He wanted to protect the city, himself, the people and most importantly, his wife. So, crime crumpet stepped into the alleyway. Almost instantly one of the thugs cried dramatically: OH NO!! It's crime crumpet!!! Joe stood there and stared. He had never been in this sort of situation. The jacket potato grunted at a few of the thugs and nodded around crime crumpet. 5 of the thugs went at him, only to be kicked backwards into a wall. A few peanut bullets, the best of their kind, grazed the top of crime crumpet's head making him twizzle round on the spot. BAM! Crime crumpet was knocked back into the pavement. He lay there for a moment, feeling dazed and sick then his adrenaline kicked in and he got back up wobbling as he did. Woosh! The jacket potato had picked up Joe and thrown him onto crime crumpet. Doomf! Joe landed on crime crumpet. "Sorry bro" said Joe as he rolled over and off crime crumpet. The jacket potato was running away and quickly just barely, crime crumpet said on his radio "T-the j-jacket po- potato is on h-horse sho- shoe road" before he fainted on the spot.

Chapter2

Crime crumpet woke up in the hospital. He saw the whole police force looking at him like he was going to die. He couldn't remember a thing. But then it all came rushing back to him. The fight, Joe, and the jacket potato. “Where is the jacket potato” He grimaced with his teeth grinding madly. “The most supermax prison we could find." answered the head of the police force, Gregory or as they nicknamed him, police lettuce. " The oven." Meanwhile, a new bad guy, a weevil, was sitting around his lair, moaning to his robotic servant, vvbbnn333 or, his nickname, Jonny3000. Jonny was fumbling about in the kitchen when he saw his master, called evil weevil (very unimaginative naming, I know!) Turned on his ultraHD television, (or for short T.V) and see crime crumpet's smiling face and see a trophy saying: town's greatest cop in big, shiny letters on the front. "I think I’ve found my next target Jonny3000" he said deviously and then cackled evilly.

Chapter 3

As soon as Crime crumpet recovered, he went back home and booked a few days off from the police force to see his wife, who was usually at home because she worked from home but before he got home, he got a mysterious contact saying I've captured you're wife and Crime Crumpet thought it was a prank call. Once he got home, he just saw a note where she'd usually be sitting in front of the telly saying: gone away, be back soon enough. Crime crumpet sat there looking crushed. He was planning to go to her mum's house with her, and spend the night there. Now, he didn't know what to do. But then he felt confused she said before he went on his patrol, I'll see you when you get home. So, he ran as fast as he could to the police force and told the receptionist he needed to speak with the detectives and she said "well, we need to see you're badge". So, he ran back home and grabbed his badge and ran back to show the receptionist. By now he was well out of breath and panted and puffed as he showed her his badge. "Now 'puff' can I 'pant' come 'wheeze' in?" he panted "yes" said the receptionist firmly. Once he ran down the longest hall of his life he almost collapsed at the door! Once he opened the door, he just saw a room full of lettuce trench coats and pictures of bananas, pickles and one human. "Please can you help me find my wife" he wheezed. "You need to tell us what any of her leads are" said the detective who was a cucumber in a formal voice. So, crime crumpet told him everything. "We will start soon enough" said the cucumber kindly.

Chapter 4

After that crime crumpet went back to fighting crime for a while. Finally, after a few days’ of fighting crime, Crime crumpet got some good news from the detectives. "We think we know who the kidnapper is" they said formally in their silly little trench coats. “MY WIFE HAS BEEN KIDDNNAPED????" He exclaimed quite loudly as the detectives stepped back in shock. "Why, yes she has” they said relatively calmly after what just happened. "Oh well, at least you know who kidnapped her," Crime crumpet said worriedly to the cucumber detectives. They exchanged worried glances and finally one of them said "No, we don't know who" "YOU DON'T KNOW???!! YOU ARE THE WORST DETECTIVES EVER!!! I'LL JUST FIND HER MYSELF!!" He screamed violently as the whole building shook. He stormed out of the building all the way back home whilst kicking the floor. The detectives stood there, awestruck as one of the cucumbers scribbled down on the white board, 2, because that was the second time Crime Crumpet had shouted at them. Then, just as Crime Crumpet got home, he realised he had forgotten to ask them where she was being held captive. So guiltily he dragged himself over to the police station and sauntered into the detective block. “Can you maybe tell me where she is" He practically whispered guiltily. “Maybe" they said sternly while giving him a stare that could kill him. Crime Crumpet gave them the devious cute eyes and they twitched but then one of them faltered and squeaked: "EEEE She's in the animal tower in new pork!!!" He squealed excitedly and then covered his mouth with a 'uh-oh' expression and everybody looked at that single cucumber with an expression that could kill. He whispered to him as though he shouldn't have heard that (which he shouldn't have) "That was confidential information, you shouldn’t have heard that" "Jerry!!! Why did you SAY THAT???"A random cucumber screamed at 'Jerry'. Crime Crumpet said in a voice that alerted them all. "Oi! Right, I’m going to ask this lovely cucumber here" They all stared at him with loving eyes, hoping to be the one, “Jerry," and everybody stared at the mess-making, clumsy cucumber who was slipping out of his lettuce trench coat as everybody turned slowly round and stared at him. “To be my partner” Crime crumpet finished.

Chapter 5

Jerry accepted. As evil weevil stared at his T.V., (the headline was world’s worst detective becomes partner to world's legendary cop.) scoffed at how embarrassing it was to have HIM as a partner and scoffed again, but just in spite this time. Crime crumpet and his accomplice travelled to new pork and once they got there, they had no idea of where to go! Evil weevil was staring at them menacingly as he screamed at his carrot drone: well, locate them and after a few beeps and boops, he located them at the statue of liberty, who was a bagel and was holding a sausage. Crime Crumpet and Jerry were running towards the bagel of liberty. They were being chased by 5 homing missiles. "When can we stop?" asked Jerry. “When we get to the bagel of liberty Jerry!" Crime Crumpet said for the 6th time, but felt like the millionth time. Once they got there Crime crumpet screamed Jump in! And Jerry replied with "No, I don’t want to get my £200 trench coat wet," He replied sarcastically. And as crime crumpet was falling, he used one of his cool police 1st class gadgets. His extended robotic arm grabbed Jerry and threw him in "OI," screamed Jerry as he was falling in "thanks for nothing!" he screamed as the missiles exploded underwater and did no damage at all to them. Then Crime Crumpet pulled a little multi-gadget where he selected a little holograph that looked an awful lot like a boat. The boat had a golden plate that went all the way around the side of the shiny speedboat, it was all white on the inside, but the leather seats which were brown and leathery. Him and Jerry started zooming off into the distance and then they realised they were going the wrong way and turned around and this time crime crumpet went onto his arm missiles on the holograph tech and screamed at the carrot drone have a taste of your own medicine!! And he shot one of his arm missiles at the drone. Meanwhile, evil weevil was up in his tower watching from the drone. As he saw the homing lettuce missile coming to him, he screamed at the drone: Abort! Abort, you stupid drone! and it swivelled around and it zoomed around and stated off at a rapid pace, almost 1000mph, but the missile was going at 2000mph and soon caught up to the drone. As it was closing in on death, he thought about talking. He didn't know why, but he did. So, he started a conversation. "Hello." he said "who are you?" the lettuce said as they were flying through the air. The carrot replied: “Well, I'm carrot drone" and then they collided without even closing their conversation. Evil weevil screamed so loud that his building shook. "I'll get them if it's the last thing I do" He grimaced. Jerry and crime crumpet were now back on land and crime crumpet looked at the tower. It was now very far away from him. Before, it was only an hour of traffic. Now, it was 3.4 miles and they had to go in the sewers because a road was blocked off. The dilemma of the cabbage and the carrot took about an hour. And so, crime crumpet & Jerry had to jump on top of the cars and hop into the sewer. "C-c-c crime crumpet-t-t-t" stuttered Jerry madly" it's d-d-dark in h-h-here" Jerry let out a yelp as a broccoli rat scuttled past his quivering feet. Crime crumpet was muddling with his arm band, which was very faintly projecting a bomb, of a sort. Crime crumpet tapped on it and in his hand, a spherical shape appeared in his hand, marked in shiny letters: LIGHT BOMB. crime crumpet hurled it. it expanded and exploded in mid-air creating a dim light that filled the tunnel. It then followed them whilst they were traversing through the tunnel. After about half an hour, they heard a faint humming noise. Jerry turned around and muttered groggily: whatajiba? Then he yelped and screamed "Crime crumpet! Grab one of your little gadgets!" Crime Crumpet turned around and looked up. Jerry seized his arm and ran.

Chapter 6

Crime Crumpet looked back and started sprinting at full capacity. He whizzed past Jerry and was now huffing and panting dizzyingly and then looked over his shoulder again to see how far they were. The robots, quite large and bulky with thick metal skin were quite fast and was catching up to Jerry as he was not going very fast and then the cucumber put on a mad burst of speed and overtook Crime Crumpet swiftly. Now Crime Crumpet was fiddling with his thing on his arm again. The sewer shook violently. The robots turned. So did Crime Crumpet and a terrified Jerry. A massive, hulking figure's silhouette appeared at the end of the tunnel. It was getting closer. And closer , until it stopped right behind the robots. Jerry almost fainted when he saw it. It was a massive robot with shoulder plates made of diamond coloured orange and a head made of pure steel. It's legs were a steel-looking titanium and it’s torso was silver and right in its heart was a glowing ruby. It came right at them. Jerry stood, wobbling on his feet. Crime Crumpet, who was fuddling with his arm gadget again selected plasma gun and grabbed the hologram which fell into Crime Crumpet's open hand and shot the monstrosity of the robot, who, as Crime Crumpet knew, was a MK-21, the robo-brute. With him was an IG-30, who are usually equipped with the newest guns, which would be a mark shot assault rifle, which homes in on the target. Crime Crumpet hit the robo-brute in the ruby, then the diamond and it fell over and grabbed its chest in pain. The IG-30 powered up and started shooting blindly. Crime Crumpet hit the silly little robot in the CPU and it immediately turned off. Only the mini robots were left at the catastrophic scene, Crime Crumpet grabbed the nearest dark, disgusting rail and screamed at a bamboozled Jerry, “Grab my hand!" and Jerry waddled over to Crime Crumpet and grabbed his hand and Crime Crumpet hurled him up the ladder and they appeared next to the vegetable tower.

Chapter 7

Crime Crumpet dragged Jerry to the entrance. It was a steel door with a passcode. So crime crumpet went on his hologram band (that's what it's called) and grabbed a gadget called passcode-breaker. He stuck it on the passcode pallet and it instantly, with a few hot sparks, the door clunkily opened and they stepped inside. Meanwhile, Evil Weevil was looking through his cameras. He screamed so loudly his bulletproof glass almost shattered. He had zero defences in the tower because he never thought they would get there, but, he thought but maybe I could use my robot, and then he thought out loud, "Yes! I'll use my robot and crush them all!!" He cackled. So, he went up to his lair and hopped up into his massive destructo 5000. He jumped out of vegetable tower causing two houses to be demolished. A fire raged upon them and it was consuming New Pork and burning so many houses and almost all of the houses and flats in New Pork were either burnt down or crushed by the destructo 5000. The vegetable tower was unstable due to the massive hole in the side of the building. So, it was collapsing rapidly. Crime Crumpet grabbed Jerry by the arm and they sprinted out of there and lucky they were because the next moment it collapsed were they were just standing. "that 'puff' was close!" panted Jerry "yeah" said Crime Crumpet. And then a piece of debris fell on Crime Crumpet's leg, and he fell into the smoke and smog.

Chapter 8

Crime Crumpet was lying down in the debris. He then heard a voice. "Crime Crumpet! Wake up!" and he opened his eyes and rubbed them hard. Jerry said "oh, ok, ok. You are alive. phew!" And Jerry mopped his brow. Crime Crumpet was coughing a lot. Then he heard a taunty voice. "oh Crime Crumpet, oh Crime Crumpetttt. Come out and pla-ay!" So Crime Crumpet got up and confronted the Evil Weevil "oh? You're already here? What a brave little crumpet you are!" And Crime Crumpet thrusted his plasma gun at him and it transformed into a motorbike and Crime Crumpet hopped on it. " You wana play dirty huh? Let's play dirty then!" So, Crime Crumpet played smart. And Evil Weevil played dirty. Crime Crumpet went to the crumbled bridge and there he stopped. Evil Weevil was coming right at him. The battered, bruised and bashed Crime Crumpet went off the motorbike and the Evil Weevil picked him up while running. Evil Weevil cackled "I've got Crime Crumpet while his robot was almost off the bridge. "Yeah" said Jerry "See yah never sucker" and he saluted sarcastically. Then Evil Weevil said "wha-" and then he fell in the water dropping Crime Crumpet. Everybody crept closer to the edge, and they saw, just before they got to the edge, a hand. A yellow hand. Then another one. And then they saw Crime Crumpet heave himself up onto the ledge and climb up. Everybody stood for a moment and then cheered! And then Crime Crumpet said," I want to go home." And so, he did.

Epilogue

Crime Crumpet was sitting on the sofa at his house and thought: I need the toilet so he sauntered over to the bathroom and saw his wife in the bathtub reading a book. He gaped and then they both laughed.